Really, really excellent stuff here. It's brutally difficult (often impossible, at least for me) to think about this *while* something terrible is happening, but in retrospect I always at least try. This winter I had one of my worst depressions, but now that it's over I've been reflecting on it, and there are trade-offs. Things I want to keep, so to speak. I got over my ego enough to be a lot more open and honest with some of my friends, and I am newly aware of my creative energy. I can see now that I was directing it to feeding the depression, without realizing it. The minute I started emerging, I'm drawing, writing fiction, having all kinds of ideas. Working on being a lot more conscious and deliberate with how I manage that energy to hopefully help myself avoid turning it all into torturing myself in my head next time. I'm rambling, sorry -- just riffing because you really made me think about post-traumatic growth and what we can learn from it. Thanks!
I’ve been in a funk for two months. One can imagine why. 🤔
I’ve been stressed and I am sure my soon to be six year old (his birthday is on Friday) is feeling it. Which partially prompted me to return to the topic.
And, after writing this, I recalled the words of Frederick Douglass:
“If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation are men who want crops without plowing up the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.
This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle.”
And, at that point it hit me that I’ve been through this more than a few times in life and grew as a result.
This is a version of inclusion that actually resonates. Creating a workplace culture that acknowledges the struggle as a necessity for building strength and anti-fragility that are desired outcomes vs. the cushioned safety that entrenches stagnation and victimhood.
I was at a cultural safety workshop a year ago led by two Aboriginal men (I'm in Australia) who explained what they meant by safety. It wasn't about cushioning Aboriginal people from so-called white violence/white dominated spaces. It was about acknowledging that there's always an element of unsafety everywhere, all the time, regardless of the job. Treating people as if they're incapable of dealing with adversity means that they're always seen as victims or lesser than everyone else, which undermines respect and continues to dehumanise by coddling.
My question - what's the willingness among DEI professionals in your sphere (some of whom prefer the current maligned DEI version) to consider this version of inclusion?
To answer your question, there are still many who want to anchor on the past. And, when I say past, I am talking about the paradigms that take us back to 1950-70s American Civil Rights and Affirmative Action.
Anchoring on that has been unhelpful since the 1970s. One of my heroes in the space, Dr. Roosevelt Thomas, wrote a book, "Beyond Race and Gender," in 1991. He wasn't well-received then because, as Upton Sinclair said, "It is hard to get a man to understand something that his paycheck depends on him not understanding."
Is there still racism and other isms? Yes. And complaining about white dudes being racist and trying to "hold white people accountable" is (and I agree with Shelby Steele here) one of the biggest mistakes black Americans have made. And now, we have exported this to the world.
If it worked, I'd be open, but it doesn't, hasn't, and won't.
A handful of mostly privileged people have benefitted from the current approach to DEI. The people with the greatest need by any demographic have not.
So, some of my fellow practitioners are not interested in leading with inclusion and will not be willing to be influenced by my approach.
In fact, many of them have shadow-banned me on LinkedIn to some extent because I have been shouting that the current approach is unsustainable.
Now, we are dealing with the aftermath. Will some pivot? Perhaps, and I know a handful that never went in the direction of grievance and social justice.
I'm not sure about most. They would need a new skill set that is attainable but not easily acquired.
I believe in fairness and people getting opportunities when their networks don't make it very easy. I believe in using data to see where the narratives are true and not true about merit.
I also believe in agency, interdependence, and shaping the futures of human communities. Separating any of these from inclusion in practice is short-sighted and generally unproductive.
Unfortunately, the acronym DEI has suffered damage that has caused the baby of inclusion to be thrown out with the bathwater of overindulgence in quantum victimhood. The correction was needed. The political nature of how it's been done will likely embolden the old to hold on tighter rather than inspire a balanced switch.
My hope is that there are more folks that I've yet to meet, like you, who are willing to look at it like I have seen it for the past 20 years.
The durable principles in how I see, do, and embody the work perpetually stand.
I appreciated reading your approach. I can clearly see the concept of quantum victimhood, which prevents people from moving forward—and the type of practitioners, and even managers, who insist on keeping others stuck in that loop because it’s easier to control them.
I recognize the need for a narrative approach that first helps traumatized individuals reach a safe shore, and then supports them in repairing their story—by leveraging their positive resources and renegotiating their relationship with it. As a newbie practitioner, I use this method to help people break free from negative cycles.
Thank you for the resources—I’ll definitely read more about antifragility.
You're right on target here! I love how you also connected trauma and antifragility. It's a topic I wrote about recently as well, Literally titled, "Trauma and Antifragility" in how we think avoiding trauma will help but it actually makes things much much worse!
I love how you tied it to agency as well. That's a word that needs to be brought back to our language. You have agency, you can control your reactions. You can manage your life. Agency is so powerful and yet we try to steal it away from people at every opportunity.
One curious observation I've made is that when people complain about disadvantage or diagnosis or obstacle these days they almost NEVER want you to encourage them, or to tell them that they can overcome their struggles.
Many people are looking for consolation and excuses rather than self-improvement. They don't want to hear that, either.
Your article reminds me of something the physician Paul Brand wrote in his book "The Gift of Pain: Why We Hurt and What We Can Do About It"
"We dare not allow our daily lives to become so comfortable that we are no longer challenged to grow, to seek adventure, to risk. An internal self-mastery builds when you run farther than you have run before, when you climb a mountain higher than any other, when you take a sauna bath and then roll in the snow. The adventures themselves bring exhilaration; meanwhile challenge, risk, and pain combine to bolster a confidence that may serve well in times of crisis.
In short, if I spend my life seeking pleasure through drugs, comfort, and luxury, it will probably elude me. Lasting pleasure is more apt to come as a surprising bonus from something I have invested myself in. Most likely that investment will include pain—it is hard to imagine pleasure without it."
Really, really excellent stuff here. It's brutally difficult (often impossible, at least for me) to think about this *while* something terrible is happening, but in retrospect I always at least try. This winter I had one of my worst depressions, but now that it's over I've been reflecting on it, and there are trade-offs. Things I want to keep, so to speak. I got over my ego enough to be a lot more open and honest with some of my friends, and I am newly aware of my creative energy. I can see now that I was directing it to feeding the depression, without realizing it. The minute I started emerging, I'm drawing, writing fiction, having all kinds of ideas. Working on being a lot more conscious and deliberate with how I manage that energy to hopefully help myself avoid turning it all into torturing myself in my head next time. I'm rambling, sorry -- just riffing because you really made me think about post-traumatic growth and what we can learn from it. Thanks!
Thanks for your thoughtful note, @Holly.
I’ve been in a funk for two months. One can imagine why. 🤔
I’ve been stressed and I am sure my soon to be six year old (his birthday is on Friday) is feeling it. Which partially prompted me to return to the topic.
And, after writing this, I recalled the words of Frederick Douglass:
“If there is no struggle there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom and yet deprecate agitation are men who want crops without plowing up the ground; they want rain without thunder and lightning. They want the ocean without the awful roar of its many waters.
This struggle may be a moral one, or it may be a physical one, and it may be both moral and physical, but it must be a struggle.”
And, at that point it hit me that I’ve been through this more than a few times in life and grew as a result.
Wow, that's an amazing quote. Thanks for sharing it!!
Brilliant article!
This is a version of inclusion that actually resonates. Creating a workplace culture that acknowledges the struggle as a necessity for building strength and anti-fragility that are desired outcomes vs. the cushioned safety that entrenches stagnation and victimhood.
I was at a cultural safety workshop a year ago led by two Aboriginal men (I'm in Australia) who explained what they meant by safety. It wasn't about cushioning Aboriginal people from so-called white violence/white dominated spaces. It was about acknowledging that there's always an element of unsafety everywhere, all the time, regardless of the job. Treating people as if they're incapable of dealing with adversity means that they're always seen as victims or lesser than everyone else, which undermines respect and continues to dehumanise by coddling.
My question - what's the willingness among DEI professionals in your sphere (some of whom prefer the current maligned DEI version) to consider this version of inclusion?
Thanks for your note, Nathalie.
To answer your question, there are still many who want to anchor on the past. And, when I say past, I am talking about the paradigms that take us back to 1950-70s American Civil Rights and Affirmative Action.
Anchoring on that has been unhelpful since the 1970s. One of my heroes in the space, Dr. Roosevelt Thomas, wrote a book, "Beyond Race and Gender," in 1991. He wasn't well-received then because, as Upton Sinclair said, "It is hard to get a man to understand something that his paycheck depends on him not understanding."
Is there still racism and other isms? Yes. And complaining about white dudes being racist and trying to "hold white people accountable" is (and I agree with Shelby Steele here) one of the biggest mistakes black Americans have made. And now, we have exported this to the world.
If it worked, I'd be open, but it doesn't, hasn't, and won't.
A handful of mostly privileged people have benefitted from the current approach to DEI. The people with the greatest need by any demographic have not.
So, some of my fellow practitioners are not interested in leading with inclusion and will not be willing to be influenced by my approach.
In fact, many of them have shadow-banned me on LinkedIn to some extent because I have been shouting that the current approach is unsustainable.
Now, we are dealing with the aftermath. Will some pivot? Perhaps, and I know a handful that never went in the direction of grievance and social justice.
I'm not sure about most. They would need a new skill set that is attainable but not easily acquired.
I believe in fairness and people getting opportunities when their networks don't make it very easy. I believe in using data to see where the narratives are true and not true about merit.
I also believe in agency, interdependence, and shaping the futures of human communities. Separating any of these from inclusion in practice is short-sighted and generally unproductive.
Unfortunately, the acronym DEI has suffered damage that has caused the baby of inclusion to be thrown out with the bathwater of overindulgence in quantum victimhood. The correction was needed. The political nature of how it's been done will likely embolden the old to hold on tighter rather than inspire a balanced switch.
My hope is that there are more folks that I've yet to meet, like you, who are willing to look at it like I have seen it for the past 20 years.
The durable principles in how I see, do, and embody the work perpetually stand.
I appreciated reading your approach. I can clearly see the concept of quantum victimhood, which prevents people from moving forward—and the type of practitioners, and even managers, who insist on keeping others stuck in that loop because it’s easier to control them.
I recognize the need for a narrative approach that first helps traumatized individuals reach a safe shore, and then supports them in repairing their story—by leveraging their positive resources and renegotiating their relationship with it. As a newbie practitioner, I use this method to help people break free from negative cycles.
Thank you for the resources—I’ll definitely read more about antifragility.
Thanks for the feedback, Emanuela. Much appreciated.
You're right on target here! I love how you also connected trauma and antifragility. It's a topic I wrote about recently as well, Literally titled, "Trauma and Antifragility" in how we think avoiding trauma will help but it actually makes things much much worse!
I love how you tied it to agency as well. That's a word that needs to be brought back to our language. You have agency, you can control your reactions. You can manage your life. Agency is so powerful and yet we try to steal it away from people at every opportunity.
https://www.polymathicbeing.com/p/trauma-and-antifragility
Looking forward to reading your article! I think people who have embarked on the path of agency, will help others get there, too.
Conversely, being on the path of quantum victimhood, creates the opposite anti-possibilities (fragile rather than antifragile).
I totally agree with that. Agency is the only thing we can control and so many people just seem to give it up.
One curious observation I've made is that when people complain about disadvantage or diagnosis or obstacle these days they almost NEVER want you to encourage them, or to tell them that they can overcome their struggles.
Many people are looking for consolation and excuses rather than self-improvement. They don't want to hear that, either.
https://jmpolemic.substack.com/p/rule-1-you-are-responsible
Chronic comfort will make you feel like everything uncomfortable is someone else’s fault.
Well said Amri! Can't grow without some pain.
Your article reminds me of something the physician Paul Brand wrote in his book "The Gift of Pain: Why We Hurt and What We Can Do About It"
"We dare not allow our daily lives to become so comfortable that we are no longer challenged to grow, to seek adventure, to risk. An internal self-mastery builds when you run farther than you have run before, when you climb a mountain higher than any other, when you take a sauna bath and then roll in the snow. The adventures themselves bring exhilaration; meanwhile challenge, risk, and pain combine to bolster a confidence that may serve well in times of crisis.
In short, if I spend my life seeking pleasure through drugs, comfort, and luxury, it will probably elude me. Lasting pleasure is more apt to come as a surprising bonus from something I have invested myself in. Most likely that investment will include pain—it is hard to imagine pleasure without it."
Brilliant! Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Scott.